Just a day...

Well.. it's Friday the 18th of March. And I've a sick kid so no gym today. Or anything else really for that matter.
So this blog is also about my mental health. I've been struggling with it since a traumatizing breakdown about 7 yrs ago. I have cptsd, bpd, chronic depression and anxiety. But I'm fairly level, thanks to the different Med I started along with my others. And of course, the one that finally works is the one that made me gain this massive weight! But I prefer to be level than in an ultimate heartbreaking depression and suicidal tendencies. I almost died 2.5yrs ago from a suicide attempt. And I refuse to ever get that way again. So stay on meds and just work my ass off at the gym to lose this insaaaaane weight! So.. this is rather embarrassing and I've quite a complex about it as I'm normally very thin and have a super tiny frame.
But today I will post my before pictures.. and my weight, bmi and weight loss from my fitness app.
As today is Friday, the weekend is here.. and that's my worst time really, I've no social life at all and one friend here. This is apart of my journey, to get a social life going, get working etc. I'm very lonely and I crave human interaction. So today I'm ok... but if course a bit of a pity party mentally about my loneliness.
Anyhow.. here the pictures are, rather embarrassing! But when I'm back to my normal thin self, I'll be very proud!! The first picture is me, as i normally am! And will get back to! ALL OR NOTHING! 💜

The beginning... again ☺

Today the 17th of March 2016 is my second day back at the gym in years! Due to a medication side effect, I gained 80lbs.. reeeeal fast!!! So now it's finally time to get it off!
My normal weight is 120lbs and 18% body fat! Now.. um Ya, well I think I'll add that later lol.
Anyways, since I've done this before and was a complete fitness junkie, I know a lot of info about losing weight, building muscle and most of all, clean eating! So the pictures I've added today are some of the types of food I eat. Today.. yogurt, granola and fresh berries for breakfast. Ryvita crackers with hummus, fresh green veggies with low fat, low sodium, low calorie ranch dressing and a couple of thin slices of low fat cheese for lunch. Also I try to ONLY drink WATER.. except for ALO drinks.. super healthy! And the occasional protein shake.
And of course, You need to take all your essential VITAMINS! Staying away from SODIUM is a must! And of course portion sizes. Proper gym shoes are a must also!
So right now to lose the bulk of the weight I'm sticking to cardio and building my core back up! 30 mins on treadmill today, and 30 mins on the spin bike. And of course some sit ups and stretching.
So that's today! Chicken breast, brown rice and steamed broccoli for supper later! ALL OR NOTHING! 💜